Seven Weeks Post-LPAO

I went up to Boston today for my second post-LPAO appointment -- a little early, at only seven weeks post-op, but that seemed apropos given the quick pace of this hip's recovery.

In the last few weeks, I've been mixing in more and more walking, but still keeping the one crutch with me for longer excursions or (given the current weather conditions on the East Coast) inclement footing. Needless to say, Dr. Millis and the team were pleased with my progress, my range of motion, my strength and my nearly-perfect walking.

I say nearly-perfect because, as physical therapist Jaime pointed out, I need to do some specifically targeted exercises with the thera-band to get back to 100% on the left side. So I've got those movements as an assignment. Other than that, though, I can continue with my bike riding at the gym, and continue to increase my walking as it feels comfortable and as my hip muscles strengthen.

Essentially, I am now where I was at the end of May with my RPAO -- which puts my left hip recovery about a month ahead of where my right hip recovery was at this stage. So there's my Christmas present!

One Month Post-LPAO

Today was my one month post-op appointment with Dr. Millis and the team. I already had a feeling my left hip was healing faster than my right hip had earlier this year, but my appointment today confirmed this.

I got the standard x-rays before seeing the team: supine AP and false profile. When I went over the films with Erin, she pointed out the areas of bridging -- where the bone had begun knitting to fill the cracks. My bones have done a spectacular amount of knitting in the past month! The cut in the illium was barely visible (except the big gap to fill caused by moving the acetabulum), and the other two cuts were bridging nicely. I'll try to get the films so I can post them. Both Dr. Millis and Erin were impressed.

I reported that I am down to two Percocet a day, one in the morning and one before bed; Valium occasionally as needed. That strange pain (that I thought might be a ligament) is completely gone now. I still take one Atarax at nighttime. I am sleeping much better now, able to sleep comfortably on both sides now, as well as on my back. I still have the strange pulling feeling at my epidural site, so Erin told me to let them know if it got worse or continued much longer.

Erin did my range of motion tests and they were good as well. My hip can bend below 90 degrees towards my chest now and rotation was good. My straight leg raise was high and strong, too, which I think is because I was in good shape going into the surgery. I think if the muscles around your hip are strong going in, it can only help in the recovery.

When it came to movement, I admitted that I'd been putting more weight on the leg this past week. Erin had me walk with one crutch and then a few steps without crutches. One crutch felt OK but without crutches I definitely felt that sinking feeling you get when the leg is not ready to take the weight yet. So I am officially allowed to start using one crutch, but always keep the other around in case I need support or my gait becomes uneven "like a penguin," to quote Erin. Great news, huh?

I am allowed to go to the gym now, with far fewer restrictions than I had post-RPAO. I can do the stationary bicycle at zero resistance to start, as usual, but I can increase duration and resistance faster this time. And I can do any upper body and core exercises I want, provided my hip feels fine when I'm doing them. This is great news because the faster I can start getting back into shape the better; I'd rather not lose as much fitness as I did after the right hip surgery.

It is amazing how much different this recovery has gone compared to my recovery in March. Other women have said that one hip is always worse than the other, but you never know which one will be the bad one. Imagine if this one had been worse than the RPAO! But luckily it is going fantastically so far, and I'm feeling really great. But I doubt I would have appreciated the speed and ease of this recovery as much if I hadn't had such a rough go of it in March.

So good news overall, but there's still a lot of healing to do. I am going to try not to get overexcited about this progress, and continue to take it slow and steady so I can keep knitting away as well as I have been. I return to see Dr. Millis and the team in four weeks (Dec. 29), but I'll update here before then, to report on how the new weight-bearing and gym visits are going.

Two Weeks Post-LPAO: Movement

One significant difference from my recovery in March is movement. It is very obvious that this surgery was less invasive and less "destructive" than my RPAO in March. At this point in March I was still quite limited in my hip joint movement, much more so than I am now.

I have quite a bit of leeway in how I can move my left hip without pain. I can straighten it and bend it far more than I could at this stage with my right hip. Of course I cannot lean down to put on a sock on my left leg, or even smear Sarna cream on my itchy left calf, but I can make a more acute angle with my left hip than I could with my right two weeks post-RPAO. I can cross my legs at the ankles (right over left, of course). My left hip also still pops and clicks (painlessly), though more quietly than pre-surgery. (My right hip never popped again after my RPAO.)

The fact that Dr. Millis did not cut any muscles during my LPAO is also noticeable. Although it is weak, my left hip flexor does actually work. I can use my left leg muscles to move my leg around a little bit. At this point in March I could not move my leg at all without someone to help me lift it and replace it in a new position.

All of this should mean increased mobility, maybe even an excursion outside the house (!), but unfortunately the pain I have been having while crutching has been quite a deterrent to getting up and crutching around. So mostly I stay seated or supine, unless I really *have* to get up.

I still need help getting into and out of the shower, because there is a lip, but I can shower on my own. I have a shower chair but I use it more for support than for sitting while I'm showering.

I don't use a special toilet seat -- my right leg is strong enough to lift me from most seated positions even when there is not really enough support for me to use my arms to assist.

I am comfortable sitting in a soft armchair, as long as I can slouch a bit or put my legs up on an ottoman. Dining room and kitchen table chairs are less comfortable, mostly because they involve eating (therefore leaning over the table) and that causes overly-acute-hip-angle problems. Same problem with my office chair (and leaning over the computer). I try to solve the angle problem by sitting on the edge of the chair and angling my thigh down towards the floor, with my foot under my chair, but it is not very comfortable.

Sleeping is the one area in which I am actually doing worse than I was at this point in March. I can still only sleep on my back, with pillows under my left knee. It is not terribly comfortable and when my lower back (what I assume to be the sacrotuberal ligament) hurts, it is not comfortable at all. I am desperate to switch positions during the night, and I have tried, but I still can't sleep on my right side. My left hip and that spot on my back ache when I try to do that. In comparison, two weeks after my RPAO in March I could already sleep happily on my non-op side.

LPAO Pre-Op Appointments

Today my mother and I were back in Boston for a combination post-op / pre-op visit. Seven months post-op for my right hip, two weeks pre-op for my left hip. Overall it was a long day with some confusion and scheduling mishaps, but everything got done and everything is great, at least with my hips.

I had my appointment with admitting, which was much quicker this second time around. I signed my various proxies and consents and I spoke to the anesthesiologist and the admitting nurse. My insurance pre-authorization is "in process," so hopefully I'll get the confirmation in the mail any day now.

I had my third and final blood draw at the hospital blood center, and then I went up to see Dr. Millis. The scheduling mishaps meant that Dr. Millis did not have my pre-op left hip MRI or my post-op right hip X-rays to view prior to me seeing him, but nevertheless he put me through my range of motion tests and discussed both hips with me. My range of motion was great; nothing hurt; my muscle tone and fitness were much improved since my last visit in July.

Finally, on our way back home, we stopped at Waltham so I could have my pre-op MRI and post-op X-rays. The nurses had a lot of trouble injecting the contrast for the MRI because my veins kept rolling away or blowing out, even when they used an infant needle. They had to stick me six times to get 30cc of contrast into me. Clearly it was a wretched experience, especially at the end of a long and draining day. Pun intended.

My biggest concern today was really my general health and the useability of both today's blood draw and my two prior blood draws. At the hospital blood center (unlike at the New York Blood Center), they told me to contact them if I got sick with a cold or flu-like symptoms within 48 hours of my blood draw. This was a concern because, as you may recall, I got sick after both my previous blood draws.

My first blood draw was September 25 and I believe I wrote that I'd woken up that morning with a raspy throat and immediately fell into a (relatively mild) cold after the blood draw. My second blood draw was October 5; I woke up that morning with pressure in my left sinus and was diagnosed the next day with a sinus infection. Obviously in both cases I was already sick when I gave the blood.

Today I asked the blood center nurse about both cases and she felt fine about the first draw but wanted to run the second draw scenario by my doctor. Dr. Millis was fine with it but said we'd use the October 5th pint last, if necessary.

The problem is that today was my third blood draw, and I am still not 100%. In fact, I finished a 10-day course of antibiotics for my sinus infection three days ago (on Saturday 17th), and unfortunately woke up yesterday with the realization that my sinus infection was back. It had not been vanquished by the 10 days of antibiotics. I have to admit I didn't take super-good care of myself during the course of the antibiotics; for example, my sleep schedule was messed up by a trip to Los Angeles.

So today I have a sinus infection and I had to give my third blood draw. This on-site (in Boston) pint gets separated out for its plasma so maybe that mitigates things? I don't know. It is worth noting that (without knowing about the sinus re-infection) the admitting nurse checked my general health, including lymph nodes, looking in my nose and throat, breath sounds, etc. and declared me healthy. If I was really really sick, she'd have been able to tell, right?

I told Dr. Millis about my sinus infection and asked him if I could get back on antibiotics and take them until just before my surgery and he said yes. So that is the plan. I am going to try my very hardest to take the best care of myself possible these next two weeks (which I already should have been doing, but anyway) and hope that this second course of antibiotics can kill this thing. Obviously if it doesn't, there goes my surgery date.

Four Months Post-Op

In my last entry six weeks ago, I was just starting to walk again; now I am getting close to 100% with walking. Right now, I'd say I'm at 80% of my pre-dysplasia-pain ability to walk, and probably 100% of my ability to walk just prior to surgery.

As I wrote six weeks ago, at first even going on a half mile walk was exhausting. My leg muscles were in various states of soreness for several weeks, and my cardiovascular endurance needed work after two and a half months of limited activity.

My gait stabilized soon after I began walking. Once I got steady on my feet, I tried to increase my walking bit by bit -- at first just starting with the basic walk to and from the subway on the way to work (a few blocks each way), then little lunch-hour walks that I stretched longer and longer.

Eventually I was able to walk from my apartment in the Financial District across the Brooklyn Bridge to DUMBO, one of my favorite walks and one I was very glad to get back to! My longest walk so far has been a five-mile walk through London the weekend before last -- but I did pay for that with exhaustion and soreness for the rest of the day afterwards, so I haven't repeated the feat since.

I have had pain as I've been increasing my walking. It is hard to explain -- a lot of the time it is clearly muscle pain -- in the quads, glutes, calves, hip muscles -- but once or twice it has felt disturbingly like the old pain: twinges when my hip hit a certain way; that old "blister" feeling. The twinging/shooting only happens when I am *really* spent, like after that 5 mile walk for example. In London, my hip felt great during the whole walk (I would have stopped immediately had it started hurting), but after I came home and had rested on the couch for a while, I got up and felt really stiff with twingy pain in the operated hip on each step. I don't know what that means.

At times I admit I've been concerned that the surgery "didn't work" and the pain was the same old pain I had pre-surgery. But unlike the pre-surgery pain, the twingy pain I have now goes away quickly. The old pain would linger for several days until I'd stayed off my hip long enough for it to fade away.

Other times when my hip has been tired I've sometimes felt an ache, sometimes with the ache reaching down in a stripe down the outside front of my thigh. Of course that stripe could be some inner quad muscle complaining. In fact, I am not sure that the twingy pain isn't muscle related, too. I just don't know. But no matter what the pain, it has usually not lasted more than a few hours and it has always been gone the next morning. I figure it is just all part of building up the strength and endurance of my hip, and to stick with the rule to ease up if it hurts.

Jaime (physical therapist) did give me some exercises and stretches during my May visit, which I was to do daily. I tried to do them every morning and evening but I definitely did not do them that often. The stretching was, and still is, the worst -- my hamstrings were tight anyway before the surgery and now they are just ridiculously tight. It is hard to tell if there is even any progress with the stretching, but I suppose it is good for me no matter what.

I have also ridden the exercise bike sometimes during the past weeks. I haven't swum and I haven't done any anaerobic exercise, but that is just because I am lazy. I have resolved to remedy those deficits in the coming weeks.

As it stands now, I am back to being able to get around in the city at least as well as I did just prior to surgery. I can walk to subways, around the office at work, to errands at lunch hour, in parks on weekends, etc., all without pain (for the most part). I can walk briskly and bustle up and down stairs at typical New York pace. The last couple of nagging range-of-motion problems (not being able to really bend freely over my operated leg to put on a sock, for example) have finally fallen away.

I still have the numb spot on the outside of my thigh, but it comes and goes. Sometimes it feels like it is almost totally gone and then sometimes it comes back a little bit. I guess it is possible there will be some sort of strangeness there for the rest of my life, but no matter; I rarely notice it and am never bothered by it when I do.

I went up to Boston yesterday to see Dr. Millis and the team. (My last visit was back in May, right before my last entry in here.) I got x-rays that looked (to me) exactly like the x-rays from six weeks ago. Screws straight, cracks filled in, etc. Dr. Millis was pleased with my gait, flexion and strength and all seems to be improving according to plan. Weakest links are the right hip flexor and hip abductor muscles. (They probably would have been stronger if I'd been more religious with my PT exercises, hmm?)

I asked Dr. Millis and Jessica (physical therapist) about adding back some activities. Sadly I'm not allowed to start up tennis again, but I'm now allowed to hit against a wall or against a ball machine, so that's a start. Jessica said I needed a month or so before I could start adding any impact on my hip, so "real" tennis is still on hold.

No horseback riding still because it is "too jarring." (I'm surprised they didn't also say "and you could fall off!")

Thankfully I am allowed to start back up with a personal trainer again, so that should help with my motivation to get back in the weight room. I've already set up my first session for this Friday.

Another bit of good news is that I don't have to go back up to Boston until my LPAO pre-op appointment in October! I will communicate with the physical therapists and Dr. Millis via email to give updates on how I'm doing, but basically I'm free to enjoy my summer and fall.

Speaking of LPAO, my left hip is still pain-free despite the increased activity. I haven't had even a twinge from it even during the longer walks. That doesn't affect my decision to put it on the chopping block in November, but it is definitely good news for the enjoyment of my summer.

Nine Weeks Post-Op -- Lose the Crutches!

Hallelujah! I am now officially allowed to wean myself off the crutches!

Today I went up to see Dr. Millis for my two-month post-op visit (although it really was 9 weeks post-op). He took another x-ray (I'll post it as soon as I get the image from the hospital) and I met with Jaime, the physical therapist, again.

I'm sad to say that it is hard for me to see any difference between today's x-ray and my last x-ray, or even the x-ray taken 5 days post-surgery. But the doctor was very pleased with all the new fuzzy white stuff I have apparently added in the last month, and he said that according to the x-ray there was no skeletal reason I couldn't walk right away.

Dr. Millis had me "try" walking without crutches, and both he and Jaime were impressed that I was walking so well my "first time" without crutches. I didn't tell them I'd already been using one crutch a little bit and even doing some minor walking. Hey, they didn't ask, OK? I would have told them if they'd asked.

Even though I've now gotten permission to walk, I can't just toss the crutches aside like a Christmas miracle; my hip and leg muscles, after two months of general atrophy, need a little time to get up off the couch, dust the Doritos crumbs off their bellies, and get in shape. I am allowed to walk as much as is comfortable, but Dr. Millis and Jaime warned that I should always have a crutch with me for when (not "if") my hip gets tired or sore.

Weaning off the crutches means sometimes I'll be walking, sometimes I'll be on one crutch, and sometimes I may even need to go back to two crutches for a day or so, depending on what my hip feels like. But as my joint strengthens I should find myself needing support less and less.

Jaime tested the range of motion in my right (operated) hip, as well as my current ability to use various muscles around the joint to lift my knee up, abduct my leg, and bring my leg out behind me. She also had me stand on my right (operated) leg and lift my left leg off the floor, which felt unstable and a bit scary. But apparently having 100% of my body weight on my right hip is not a problem at this point -- everything is healed enough that I'm not going to damage anything. What I really need to avoid is impact. Standing with 100% of weight on operated leg = OK; jumping up and down on operated leg = not OK.

Jaime then had me stand on my right (operated) leg, with a hand on the table for balance, and do all the same movements with my left leg: lift knee up, abduct the leg, bring leg out behind me. Initially I thought this was to strengthen the muscles around my left hip, but it turned out that having to support my entire body weight on my right leg while bracing myself against the movement of my left leg was the actual point of the exercise. And it was hard. The same muscles that are used for leg abduction are used to support the leg when standing on one foot, so I felt the burn on the outside of my right hip/thigh rather than in the muscles around my left hip. I am to practice these leg movements bilaterally, adding the resistance of a thera-band as my strength increases.

In addition to the leg movement exercises, Jaime also gave me some more stretches (hamstring and hip flexor) to add to the quad stretch I was already doing. She cleared me to begin doing crunches, increase my resistance on the exercise bike and swim laps in the pool (gently). She said I could try the elliptical machine when I felt my balance was good enough. I am not allowed to work with a personal trainer or do Pilates until after she's assessed my progress at my next visit.

So all of this is fantastic news. I have a lot of new movements to work on now, so I finally feel like progress can occur again! I am very excited to get started.

My next visit with Dr. Millis will be at 16 weeks (four months) post-op.

Off The Meds

It has now been five weeks since my surgery.

Today is the first day I have gone without any pain medication at all, and it feels fine so far. I had really been stepping down the dosage slowly prior to that, going by whatever pain level I felt. This morning my hip hardly hurt at all, so I decided to give the day a try without medication.

At this point I can sleep on my right (operated) side for long periods during the night. It feels a bit funny, but it is not painful. I sleep through the night with no problems. I am still clocking about nine or ten hours of sleep every night.

I can move my leg around quite a bit using the muscles near the hip; they are starting to recover nicely. All the exercises I got last week from the physical therapist are going very well; they are almost too easy. Only the hip abduction exercise is still difficult.

I have not been to the gym to do the exercise bike or the weight machines for my upper body -- I'm still trying to work out a membership with the YMCA up here in Connecticut. I really hope to get to the gym soon, as I feel that my sedentary lifestyle is affecting my mood as well as my body.

I am still working on getting my new 1/3 body weight weight-bearing allowance right, but the added weight isn't adding pain in my hip. Even when I've accidentally stepped on it with full weight it has not been painful, just obviously weak.

The numb spot on the side of my thigh is still there. It feels like it might be a little less numb, but it is hard to tell.

My incision has actually regressed and is not looking as good as it was in my last photo. One of the subdermal sutures has poked out at the top of the scar, creating an open wound, so I have to wear a Band-Aid over that part. The rest of the scar looks fine, but it is just redder and more noticeable than it was when I first took the Steri-strips off. I am not sure why. I am allowed to massage the scar with Vitamin E oil now, so maybe that will help.

So basically I am at the point in my recovery where I feel totally healthy, except I am on crutches. It is a very frustrating feeling. Progress was obvious before: less pain, more movement. Now everything just feels stagnant. Before I wasn't frustrated because it was very clear that I was injured and needed to rest and heal. Now it is easy to forget that all I have in those cracks is "fuzzy white stuff" and the bone needs time to heal together into a strong, solid unit again. And so it is easy to fall into the foul mood I have been in for the past three or four days.

I am not bored: I've got plenty to do, especially where work is concerned. But I don't want to do any of it any more. I am tired of this variety of sameness. I move from book to magazine to work task to TV show, I move from bed to armchair to table to couch, but it is all the same. It is all still and slow and seated. And I am really tired of sitting.

One Month Post-Op Visit

Today was my first post-operative visit with Dr. Millis, one month after my surgery. I had x-rays taken, met with the doctor to discuss my progress, and met with Physical Therapy to discuss my "assignments" for the coming month. My next visit to Boston will be in another month.

Dr. Millis said my x-rays looked great, and that "all the fuzzy white areas" were new bone growing to fill the cracks. Honestly, the whole x-ray looked like fuzzy white areas of varied brightness, so I didn't really see what he was seeing. I will post the new xrays when I get them. Dr. Millis also tested my range of motion in extension, flexion and rotation. In all, he was very pleased with my healing progress.

I got cleared to stop taking aspirin (which I'd been taking to avoid blood clots). I was instructed to continue to wean myself off painkillers as I have been doing. I got cleared to drive a car.

I am still on both crutches, only now I am allowed to put one third of my body weight on the right leg. So not exactly throw-down-your-crutches progress, but progress nonetheless. The problem is that one third of my body weight is a hard weight to gauge when you are thinking about crutching. It is one thing to put just the weight of your leg down. It is another thing to put half your body weight down as you do during when walking normally. But one third body weight? That is two thirds of the normal weight I would put on that leg if I were walking normally. But how does two-thirds normal weight feel? I have no idea. This will take practice.

The meeting with Physical Therapy outlined the range of movement I am permitted and the exercises I should practice in the coming month. I am now allowed full extension of my leg, which means I can lay on my stomach and on my back with no pillow under my leg. I was given a set of starter exercises and instructions to do them at least once a day. I was also given permission to walk in a pool and ride an upright stationary bicycle at no resistance for 10 minutes, building up to 30 minutes.

I was specifically instructed not to do any straight-leg lifts using the quadriceps because the head of one of the quadriceps muscles was detached during surgery (hence my inability to slide my foot forward the first week, remember that?) and still needed time to reconnect securely.

I did a whole set of the exercises with the Physical Therapist and they were pretty challenging despite their simplicity. It is an odd feeling to be starting something so basic from scratch. Before this, I had been moving my limbs around without a problem since birth. It is a bit rough to have to re-learn it all when the limbs are so much heavier and there is far less naptime.

After three hours in the hospital going from appointment to waiting room to appointment again, having Dr. Millis move my leg around to test motion, having the Physical Therapist move my leg around and lead me in a set of exercises -- my leg hurt more than ever. Muscle pain as well as bone pain this time. I foresee a painful period ahead of me as I begin to practice my new movements this coming month.

I am looking forward to moving more and bearing more weight on the leg, but I am also disappointed that the healing process is not moving faster. Looking back over the last month -- or even through this very entry -- the sentiment seems silly: I have progressed so much from being flat on my back in the hospital a month ago. But I have swung back to the way I felt the first weeks after the surgery, when I was unhappily surprised that recovery was so hard and painful. This time, I am unpleasantly surprised that recovery is taking so long. And just like last time, I should be surprised, nor should I have naively expected that somehow, for *me*, everything would be easy and quick. It has all been and will continue to be just as painful and gradual a process it is for every other normal human being. What a surprise.

Three Weeks Post-Op

It is now three weeks post-op and things have definitely improved. Pain is down (as is pain medication), movement is up, and the incision looks amazing. Next week I go up to Boston for my 1-month-post-op visit and then we'll see how much progress I've made internally as well.

PAIN and its MEDICATION

I have far less pain now than I did a week ago, and I get by on far fewer painkillers per day. This past week I have been taking an Oxycontin twice a day, morning and evening, and filling in with Vicodin three times during the day; yesterday I dropped it down to only two Vicodin during the day. This past week I also stopped taking the Valium all together.

Because of the reduction in medication, I don't have the same skin reactions as I did before, so I have stopped taking the Atarax (although I still use the topical rash cream morning and evening in the relevant areas).

My pain is generally very low. Most of the day I am in little to no pain; towards the afternoon I start to feel an ache and that is when I take the Vicodin. If I am going out to something I usually take a Vicodin beforehand as protection, as Dr. Millis suggested, and then I am able to sit through dinners and events with no problem. I sleep well, not waking up too often, and I don't wake up with too much pain in the mornings.

Overall there has been a huge improvement on the pain front this week. Actually Dr. Millis predicted this would happen. When we spoke a week ago he said that I would probably notice a sudden lifting of pain over the next week or so; a disappearance of the constant aching pain that I'd had since the surgery. And so I did.

MOVEMENT

I have made great strides (sorry) in the movement department as well. With the reduction in pain, and the knowledge that I am not overly numbed with pain medication and am not likely to do anything that will "ruin" the surgery, I feel much less nervous about my right leg in general.

I can bend carefully in more directions and at sharper hip angles without the prior pinching; I can move my right (operated) leg out to the side or in across my other leg a little bit (not talking huge ballet swings here, maybe 20 degrees in each direction?); I can rotate my right foot inwards and outwards when my leg is stretched out before me. I can lift and move my leg more often now (which is still not that often) without using my arms to assist, but I can also tell that many of the muscles around my hip are (not surprisingly) very weak indeed and, once I get the go-ahead, are going to need some rehab work.

One thing I have not noticed with any of my increased movements is popping, grinding, clicking, snapping or any other Rice Krispies sounds or feelings coming from my hip. Perhaps that will come with larger movements, but so far so quiet.

I know that I have put a little more than the allowed weight on the operated leg at times (by accident) in the past week and I haven't had any pain result from those brief occasions. I am still under the hospital-discharge instructions to put no more weight on my operated leg than the weight of the leg itself (i.e. resting my foot on the floor), so that is what I do, but it feels like I am ready to put some more weight on the operated leg.

Honestly, with my pain so low and my movement so improved, sometimes this whole surgery/recovery/crutches thing feels fake. Like I could just throw my crutches aside and walk if I wanted to. I suppose that is a dangerous feeling because it could lead to me acting carelessly with a hip that, while feeling much better, is by no means even close to completely healed.

But it seems my naive pre-surgery superhero feelings have begun to resurface -- the ones that made me think this recovery wouldn't be that bad at all (at least not for *me*) and the ones that are making me think the doctor is going to tell me I can throw away the crutches and walk when I go see him on Tuesday. Thank God my parents never got me a Wonder Woman costume for Halloween as a child; I probably would have jumped off a building expecting to fly.

INCISION

One great reminder that none of this is fake at all is the five-inch scar across my abdomen. All the steri-strips are off and it looks amazing, see for yourself. Dr. Millis must have used skin glue or something because the incision has healed together so smoothly and so quickly. But I can't get too excited about it: he is going to reopen it to get the screws out eventually, and I don't know that it will heal up so nicely the second time around.

MOOD

I am in good spirits most of the time, especially now that the pain and itching have lessened and I've gotten more relaxed about the movement of my hip. I am not bored in the slightest: on the contrary I am relishing the opportunity to read voraciously in various media and keep up with my favorite TV shows and movies. This is the part of me that is hoping that the doctor does *not* tell me to throw away the crutches and walk next week. I'm not done with my pile of books yet!

Nevertheless, the bookworming has slowed down in the last couple of weeks as I'm back to working almost full days now during the week. I feel up to it mentally and so far I think I have been doing as good a job as I would be doing if I were physically in the office. Probably better, since I am comfortable and only have a 13-stair commute.

Recovery Day 1

Last night -- the night after my surgery day -- was rougher than I thought it would be. Despite being exhausted after the surgery, I kept being snatched from the edge of sleep by various distractions, both human and electronic. Nurses came often to check my vitals, and oversensitive monitors periodically became convinced that I was no longer breathing, which of course sounded an emergency alarm that brought people running to my unnecessary rescue. My sleep was fitful from all the interruptions, and uncomfortable because of the itchiness brought on by the epidural medications and the all the contraptions stuck to and moving on me.

In my bed, I was sleeping with two IV lines, three monitor leads, a pulse oximetry meter, rhythmically inflating compression leg wraps on both lower legs and my entire right leg in a continuous passive motion (CPM) machine cycling my hip constantly between 30 and 70 degrees. Cozy.

The 11pm nurse shift change brought relief in the form of a wonderful nurse who gave me Nubain (for itch) and Valium (for muscle relaxation and sleep) among other delights. I slept much more comfortably after that but I wouldn't call it cozy.

This morning Dr. Sankar came to see me as I awoke, and he said I looked very well for someone the morning after surgery. Phlebotomy followed Dr. Sankar, which caused me to mar my fine looks with a considerable scowl, as they pincushioned me for some blood tests. The scowl deepened when I found out these would be daily blood tests.

Then the physical therapist arrived, which I honestly thought was a joke. Seriously, how much physicality did they think they were going to be able to get out of me in this state? A toe wiggle? Well, that was pretty much the answer. Wiggle your toes, move your ankles, etc. They did ask me to isometrically tighten the quadriceps muscle in my right (operated) leg as much as I could. It was a strange sensation to be sending my leg muscles signals that simply did not seem to be received. The therapist laid her hand on my thigh and said she could feel my muscle contracting, so my efforts were not unheeded, but I was still numb to any response at all and the non-feeling was quite bizarre.

I spent most of today sleeping, probably making up for my poor night's sleep last night. In the evening the anaesthesiologist checked on my left elbow injury -- I still couldn't use it to help lift myself using the trapeze (the pole above my bed that can be used to lift and adjust the body using the arms) and I still did not have full extension or flexion. The pain was tolerable if I kept the elbow relatively still, but it was obviously a concern for the surgery team.

Dr. Sankar also came by in the evening to remove my "drain," a pair of tubes that had been left in the wound and led out to a collection pouch outside the body to drain away blood and fluid from inside the surgery site. The drain reduces swelling and aids in healing, and had been emptied several times since I'd gotten to my room on Monday night.

When Dr. Millis came up at 7:45pm, my last visitor of the night, he asked what my pain level was in my hip. I told him honestly that it felt like I had a machete driven through my groin. He thought this a sufficient enough reason to increase my baseline epidural from 8 to 10. The machete became a steak knife and the night passed relatively peacefully.

Meeting Dr. Millis

Today my mother and I drove up to Boston to meet Dr. Millis and discuss my potential surgery. I say "potential" because it still was not guaranteed that I was an appropriate candidate for the PAO surgery, much less that I would have the renowned Dr. Millis as my surgeon. If Dr. Millis felt I was not a good candidate for a PAO, or if he opted not to take me as a patient, I would have been frustratingly back at square one. So my biggest concern heading into this appointment was getting everything nailed down, and most importantly, getting a surgery date inked into the calendar.

Prior to meeting Dr. Millis, I had to get additional X-ray and MRI imaging at the Children's Hospital's Waltham facility. I must admit that getting procedures done at a children's hospital is really kind of wonderful. For example, there is fun, whimsical decor in the waiting room, including fish tanks! I remember fish tanks in my pediatrician's waiting room when I was six years old. Nothing bad can happen to you in a place with fish tanks, right?

Additionally, the staff at children's hospitals are cheerful, patient and comforting. My X-ray tech was joking around, making sure I was comfortable and breathing, etc. I'm not particularly scared of X-rays but there is something to be said for treating sick and hurting adults like they are frightened children. Maybe all our hospitals should be like children's hospitals.

At the very least hospitals should always have a fun dragonfly mobile above the table when they try to inject contrast medium into you for your MRI. It was at least somewhat soothing to glare at the swaying, cartoonish insects, clenching my teeth as two nurses tried their hands at finding and piercing a vein in my superhero body. Apparently I have such good elasticity in my veins that they flatten out or roll away at the sight of a needle. Elastigirl indeed. Finally after five excruciating tries they got the contrast medium injected and so into the clanging doughnut I went.

After my Innerspace photo shoot at Waltham, we headed over to Boston to meet Dr. Millis at the Children's Hospital's main campus in Boston. While waiting for the doctor, I filled out a couple of questionnaires about my hip pain. It was a bit tough to know how to answer the questions since I wasn't in a lot of pain today. I am not usually in a lot of pain, but mostly that is because I limit my activities so much and stay off my feet if I begin to have any pain. This has especially been the case in the last six months or so, when my pain threshold has dropped such that I have had to carefully mete out my hip usage to keep myself pain-free most of the time.

My mother was concerned I was downplaying my pain but I really was not. I know the threat of severe pain is always there but I try to keep myself out of pain by preventing it rather than treating it once it has started. So for me the real pain is in how limited my physical activity has become in my efforts to avoid aggravating my hips.

That is not to say I have not had severe hip pain in the last couple of months: there are several times I remember being almost unable to walk and gasping in pain when I'd "overdone it". I put that term in quotes because overdoing it in my current state is doing activities that normally would be completely manageable for someone without my hip condition. Things like a tennis match or a long walk of a few miles. A healthy 29-year-old should not be felled by an afternoon at the museum.

I was still filling out the questionnaires when the doctor came in with his associate Dr. Brighton. Dr. Millis is an affable man with an enthusiastic air. He took a conservative approach, initially saying "if we decide this surgery is right for you" and similar flirty statements. Needless to say, this was annoying. I wanted him to say "OK, you need this surgery, and I'm doing it for you. Now let's talk logistics." But I guess he wanted to ease into it. Or maybe most new potential patients are not as decided, determined and dispassionate as I am about this whole thing. I've accepted the diagnosis and the need for the surgeries. Now I just want to get them over with. Right, recover; left, recover; done.

I truly think Dr. Millis had decided I was a good PAO candidate and that he was going to take me as a patient before he entered the room today, maybe even before I got to Boston and had the second set of images taken. I don't think he would have even had me come up to Boston if he hadn't, and I seriously doubt he would have spent so much time with me during the appointment if he was unsure.

The doctor watched me walk in various ways: normal, on tip toe, on my heels. He did some range of motion tests on both hips. I have no gait problems and have very good range of motion in both hips. We looked at the images from Waltham and the images I'd taken in October at HSS. The doctor drew the various angles on the X-rays to show where my socket edge was and where a normal socket edge should be. In the false profile view, it was even clearer that my sockets were far too shallow on both hips.

In the images, there doesn't seem to be that big a difference between my left and right hips, so it is a bit odd that the right usually hurts so much more. When I was off my right leg last summer, on crutches for a right knee injury, my left leg took all the weight and hurt more than it ever had before. So it is clear that my left leg has the same capacity for pain as the right. I guess the right is just quicker to pain because of the chronic labral tear and so I end up getting off my feet before the left hip even starts to hurt.

Dr. Millis confirmed that I am going to have to have the left hip done pretty soon after the right PAO. It will depend on the healing rate for the right hip, but it could be as soon as three months after the first surgery. That is faster than I expected, but honestly, the more I can compress this disability and recovery period, the better it is.

"Can we talk dates?" I asked, finally. Dr. Millis got his scheduling coordinator on the phone and offered me February 9. One month away! That was a bit too soon, even for me; I need to coordinate with work and other commitments. I took the next available slot, which was March 16. So there it is. Right hip PAO in two months. Giddy up!